When somebody constantly keeps saying how they are going to make it up to you, but never follows through …they will never change. The longshoremen’s most used phrase was “I’ll make it up to you.”
But he hardly ever did.
The next day, after the psycho ex-girlfriend incident he messaged me saying how sorry he was about ditching me. I didn’t respond for a while so he called me and apologized over the phone which I appreciated. He said his catch phrase. This was the first time I had heard it, but it certainly wasn’t the last. Before we hung up he invited me to a family friends BBQ but I really didn’t want to go. I was still upset with the events that happened the other night.
I didn’t end up seeing the longshoremen for a while after that weekend. Until one night when he wanted to take me out for dinner and drinks, to make up for the last time.
I decided to give him another chance because it obviously wasn’t entirely his fault that he had a psycho ex girlfriend stalking him. So, I picked him up from his hockey game and we went out for dinner. He was super apologetic about everything and I could tell he wanted to talk about the other night. During the car ride to the restaurant he rambled on about how much he hated his ex , wanted nothing to do with her and how he just wanted her to leave him alone. I politely told him to calm down because I could tell talking about the situation was making him agitated.
After dinner and drinks we went back to his place. As we were walking up to his place he was hugging me from behind. When we got inside it seemed like he was sincerely apologizing and deeply sorry.
So we made love. That’s what he always called it.
I don’t think he even understands what that word means.
Laying next to him, listening to music, and just talking…somehow I felt loved.
We started talking about our childhoods and that’s when I told him how my parents named me after a Fleetwood Mac song. He wanted to hear it so we lay there and listened to….
“She rings like a bell through the night and wouldn’t you love to love her.”
I woke up early the next morning and left a note. Trying, desperately to end what we had. Knowing that he would hurt me. Knowing that I was wasting my time. But I didn’t care, because I really enjoyed wasting my time with him.
I’m not even sure if he is capable of being in love.